Friday, July 18, 2008

A terrible sound...

What is the worst sound a mother can hear, traveling along the interstate alone with her three (or more) children ages 5 and under? Well honestly the worst would be a "HUWAAAAAAAAAAH" which would be the sound of a child vomiting all over himself and his brothers. Which is, most fortunately, NOT what happened this time.

So lets say the second worst sound.

#2 screams "I have to poo poo NOW or I'm going to poo poo in my pants!" Of course I start looking for the nearest bush to stop and let him squat behind. Darn the interstate, there ARE no bushes! So I settle for the next gas station. Unload all three kids, run inside and desperately ask the not-so-friendly man-woman cashier where the bathrooms are. He/she points down the hall to her left and grunts. "Thanks" I say and run the kids to the bathroom.

Of course this bathroom is a one toileter. You know, just one big room with a toilet and a sink. No stalls, no additional toilets. Which is fine if you are alone and childless. Not so much when you have two kids who both have to go and who seem to be unable to hold it any longer once there is a target I mean toilet in view. Obviously my boys are better at resolving this problem than I. #1 lifts the toilet seat and side by side they both drop their drawers and pee in unison. Its like synchronized urinating. It was beautiful. If it were an olympic event, they would have won a gold medal.

So after the olympic training, #2 hops up on the pot and takes care of his OWN #2. Thats over, we wash hands, leave the bathroom and then purchase some 'guilt candy' for using the gas station restrooms as a rest stop. (Don't tell me you don't buy guilt candy, are YOU one of those people who just runs out the door really quickly not making eye contact with the attendant? Shame on you!)

Load up the kids in the van and get back on the interstate. So 10 minutes down the highway I hear another voice from the back seat, its #1 this time (remember the synchronized urination, he DID just relieve himself)

"Mama! I have to go potty!"

Those dreaded words.

I'm not saying I MYSELF did this, but meaner moms than I might have just told their son they would have to hold it.

heh heh.

I think I'll hold off potty training #3 until he's leaving for college.

No comments: